


Anger Leads to Hate

by Eylle9



Series: Febuwhump 2021 [13]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Episode: s04e15 Deception, FebuWhump2021, Gen, Jedi Council Friendly, Love Does Not Equal Attachment, Rako Hardeen Arc (Star Wars: Clone Wars)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-15 01:48:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29428356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eylle9/pseuds/Eylle9
Summary: Febuwhump Day #14 Prompt: I didn’t mean itWhat if the talk between Obi-Wan and Anakin was longer after Obi-Wan faked his death?You should not let your feelings rule you. If you do, you might say things that you didn’t mean, you can do things that you would regret.
Relationships: Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker
Series: Febuwhump 2021 [13]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2135274
Comments: 10
Kudos: 50





	Anger Leads to Hate

**Author's Note:**

> This might not be so Anakin friendly, but it's also not bashing. I'm just warning from the beginning.

“You look terrible,” Anakin said as he saw Obi-Wan in the disguise of Rako Hardeen.

“Being a criminal's not easy work,” Obi-Wan said after he sighed. 

“If I'd known what was going on, I could've helped you. Too bad the Council didn't trust me.” Once again Anakin was blaming the Council. It had increased, especially in the last few years. Anakin started to think of everything that happened to him as evidence of the Council’s distrust. 

“Anakin, it was my decision to keep the truth from you. I knew if you were convinced I was dead, Dooku would believe it as well.” Anakin was bad at acting, it was not a secret, the way he acted around Padme was enough proof, everyone who saw them together could understand there was something more than friendship between them. Anakin was not aware of them knowing. 

“Your decision?” Anakin asked with an amount of anger that no Jedi should have. 

“Look, I know I did some questionable things, but I did what I had to do. I hope you can understand that.” It was a mission Obi-Wan had to take for the safety of the Chancellor and the Republic. 

“You lied to me!” Obi-Wan knew that it was not easy to lose one’s master in front of the padawan’s eyes. He waited, had anticipated, for Anakin to be mad at him, but this much anger, it was scary. It was not of a Jedi, it was of the dark side. 

“How many other lies have I been told by the Council?” Once again, Anakin was angry at the Council. Obi-Wan couldn’t understand it, Master Yoda had always cared about Anakin while Mace acted friendly around him, Ki-Adi liked joking with him. 

“And how do you know that you even have the whole truth?” 

“Anakin, I realize that what I have done was not fair to you, but it was to save your friend, the Chancellor whose death would cause chaos in the whole Republic.” Obi-Wan stopped to take a deep breath. “I know how losing one’s master feels like,” Obi-Wan said calmly. “However, sometimes we have to put duty in front of our feelings.” 

“Feelings?” Anakin laughed bitterly. “Are we even allowed to have feelings?” 

“Of course Anakin, but we need to rule them, not the other way around. And right now, you are letting them rule you. You are angry.” Obi-Wan explained. It was not a new thing, Anakin had a hard time understanding their thoughts on emotions, especially about _attachment_. The Jedi were encouraged to love, but the attachment was dangerous for both sides of the relationship. 

“What were you expecting me to do? Hug you? Say glad you are alive?” The bitterness in his voice was still there. 

“I don’t exactly know, I thought you would be mad, but Anakin, that’s what I’m trying to tell you, you are too angry,” Obi-Wan warned. 

“You lied to me!” Anakin’s voice was getting louder. 

“We are not getting any further like this, Anakin. We are back again where we started.” Obi-Wan looked around to see if there were anyone in earshot that might be annoyed by their conservation. 

“Yes, Obi-Wan, because that’s the problem, _you lied to **me**_.” 

“You don’t have a problem with the mission, do you? It isn’t a problem that I faked my death, the problem is you were not aware of it. Anakin, can you see how selfish this sounds?” 

“How am I the selfish one? You are the one who faked his death without thinking about the people you left behind.” 

“The people or you, Anakin? I didn’t fake my death to hurt you, I did it because it was my duty, because it was to protect the Chancellor and many people who would get hurt in this war because of the chaos the Chancellor’s death would leave behind.” Obi-Wan took a deep breath. 

“Can you tell me you never lied to me? Or there aren’t any secrets you are keeping from me right now?” Anakin didn’t answer, he turned to look at anything but Obi-Wan’s eyes. 

“Just what I thought,” Obi-Wan whispered, the confirmation shouldn’t have hurt quite so much as it did. 

“It’s not the same,” Anakin mumbled. 

“I don’t have enough knowledge to compare them, Anakin. The only way I can tell they are different is because unlike you, I don’t know what you lie about.” 

“You never listen to me, you don’t trust me.” Anakin didn’t say _you wouldn’t understand_ but Obi-Wan heard it between the words. 

“I trust you, Anakin, my life has been in your hands more times than we can count. I’m so proud of the Jedi you became, but Anakin, right now, you are not acting like that person” Obi-Wan calmed himself down. “Okay, it is obvious that we won’t go any further without calming down. We will talk about this later.” 

“No, we are going to talk about this **now**.” Anakin was so close to shouting, it was clear how angry he was. 

“Be mindful of your feelings Anakin!” 

“You can’t order me to do something. I am a knight now, not a padawan.” 

“But you are acting like one. You are letting your emotions cloud your judgement.” 

Obi-Wan turned, facing away from his padawan, but made sure that Anakin knew that reaching out to him, at a later time, was still an option.“I’m leaving. If you want to talk about this again, you can come to me another time.” 

“I hate you!” Anakin shouted. For a moment, spinning around, Obi-Wan didn’t see Anakin in front of him, he saw the lava behind the yellow eyes. As soon as Obi-Wan saw the blue eyes again, it was forgotten. It broke his heart, more than he wanted to admit. Anakin should have understood it as well since his expression changed, the anger got lost. 

“I didn’t mean it.” But Obi-Wan didn’t answer him. Instead, he left his former padawan behind and left there as he said he would. Was it because he didn’t want to continue talking, or was it because of how much those three words hurt him? It was a question Obi-Wan didn’t have an answer for.

**Author's Note:**

> [Crazyinfj’s Tumblr! (aka my one and only beta)](http://crazyinfj.tumblr.com/)
> 
> [Eylle9’s Tumblr! (aka the writer)](https://tumblr.com/blog/eylle9)
> 
> I do not find Anakin as the right person in that episode. He was lying to Obi-Wan about many things, simply his marriage with Padme or what he had done to Tusken Raiders. It does not make sense for him to be angry while the only thing Obi-Wan did was for protecting the Republic.


End file.
